Lost Without You
by ScorpioT1
Summary: What if Paul's real life passing reflected into the Fast series? What would the Team do and how would they cope?
1. Chapter 1

AN:I apologize in advance if this story upsets people. This story has been begging me to write it for weeks, but i just didn't have the courage to post until now. My first 'fast' fic. Un-beta-ed, please read and review. Rest easy blue eyes.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters contained, nor do i own any of the places involved. Plot and thoughts are a product of my own overactive imagination.

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Chapter 1-

Everything was supposed to be right now. They were finally free; No more running. They were home; 1327 finally back into the right hands and on its way to being restored to its former glory. The garage was back in business; the neighbors and loyal customers from years ago thankful that their cars could be looked after at DT's again. The store was also back to doing its modest business again in the neighborhood, now with Vince's wife Rosa looking after it. After all this time and all of the heartbreak along the way it seemed as though things would be finally going right.

Their family that was once destroyed now re-built from the ashes. They were happy, the happiest they'd been in years; but all that changed with one phone call.

When he left the garage all he could think about was Mia.

'My god Mia; did she even know? Had anyone told her?'

He prayed she was blissfully unaware, if even for a minute until the moment he crossed the threshold into their childhood home. The look on his face would tell her just enough. Something was horribly wrong, though she just wouldn't know who, what or why. She was always so in tune to the people around her; sensing emotions and picking up even the most subtle changes in body language.

Today would be different; Today he couldn't hide that he was hurting. It broke his heart that he would have to shatter her down to her very soul and tell her the words no wife wants to hear.

As he spun his tires on the gravel driveway and sped off towards home, earning quizzical and disapproving looks from the neighbors, he felt himself choking up.

"Mia bella, I'm so sorry…."

Time seemed to stop moving, like everything was in slow motion. He knew he was driving too fast, the numbers on the speedo reflecting that, yet it seemed as though he were standing still. Minutes felt like hours as he drove the familiar route from the garage to the house; too consumed in his thoughts to even pay half the attention needed for the journey. Thankfully this route was second nature, autopilot and memory taking him the distance necessary to get back to the house. To Mia.

As he pulled up to the house, all at once the emotions he was supressing hit him like a hammer.

'Why did this have to happen? Why them? Why now?' He thought.

The pain was sharp in his chest, jagged and raw like a knife thrust straight into his diaphragm; the emotion threatening to spill tears from his dark eyes. He paused for a moment to gather himself, lest his armor crack prematurely. She would need him to be strong for her, her world about to come crashing down. He replayed that phone call in his head over and over, trying to figure out exactly what he would say to her once he was in the house.

He rose from the driver's seat of his car, all at once feeling like his body weighed a ton. His heart was pounding in his chest; surely if someone were close by they would hear it thundering. The sound was thick in his ears, drowning out the sounds of the traffic on the freeway a few blocks away, the carefree screams and joyful laughter of the kid's two doors down playing animatedly on their front lawn. The thud of his heart was only eclipsed by the rush of his breathing; acutely aware that he was breathing heavily, his body reacting to his minds turmoil.

He flinched as he heard the car door slam behind him, knowing full well that she would hear and pick up on the subtleties behind that force. Damn her for having that intuition. She was so much like their mother. Nothing ever got past that woman. It was almost as if she had a sixth sense regarding the world around her. Every subtle facial expression or movement she caught. She always knew.

With feet almost as heavy as his heart, he trudged up the walk, pausing for a moment at the spot where Mia had placed Jesse's cross. He didn't particularly care for the reminder of that day, yet today it seemed comforting. He knelt down and whispered to the soft breeze as he placed his hand onto the cross.

"Take care of him Jess, he's gonna need someone to ride with him."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Sorry for the delay. Life has a tendency if getting in the way.

See Chapter 1 for disclaimer, and as always read and review.

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Chapter 2-

Brian was at a friend's garage that day, taking time away from DT's to help out at a car rally at AE. The rally was a resounding success, as usual; a day filled with hot cars and good friends. It helped that they were also doing a toy drive for the less fortunate that day, something that resonated with Brian.

He knew how it felt growing up 'poor'; his mom a single parent, working two jobs just to keep the lights on, apartment warm, and a semblance of food on the table. There was never enough money for the staples, never mind the luxury items. This was his way of giving back. Trying to ensure that somewhere, a child like him would have more than he did growing up.

His friend Roger had called him over near the end of the day, beaming with pride at one of his newest acquisitions to his ever expanding collection. The soon to be infamous Porsche Carrera GT.

She was a thing of beauty; the sleek lines and low profile such a sight to behold. Made for racing, barely street legal and a hell of a beast to keep on the road. Light in her carbon fibre body, yet nothing but raw unadulterated power in her V-10 mid-mounted engine.

She was a complete contradiction of herself. Dainty body painted a glossy red, yet beneath her hood purred the sleeping beast that when prodded even in the slightest would crank 600 hp; propelling herself and her unwitting passengers from 0 to 60 in 3 and a half seconds.

Yes, she was beautiful, and like most beautiful things, she was also deadly.

No one knows what had happened after Brian and Roger drove away. Both smiling with joy at the purr of this sly kitten. No one suspected it would be any more than a simple drive until they had heard the loud bang; saw the acrid black smoke rising just down the road from where they parted only moments before. Something was terribly wrong.

The car was fully engulfed when they arrived; Resting against a tree as the flames licked higher and higher into the blue cloudless sky. Friends and shop mates gathered en masse, trying so desperately to save the two men trapped inside the raging inferno. Someone called the fire department, and even though they were on scene in less than 5 minutes, it seemed an eternity to the onlookers.

Even with their heavy hoses, heat resistant gear and expertise, it was too late. The men were gone, and the police investigation began.

Hector had made the call that changed everything for the residents of 1327, voice choking up as he explained the scene to Dominic. He heard the clatter of the wrench on the floor, the slamming of the door and the firing of the Challengers engine; the echo barking through the phone before Dominic had hung up, presumably racing off to be with Mia.

'Poor Mia.' Hector thought as he hung up his phone. 'She doesn't deserve this hell.'


	3. Chapter 3

AN: As always, read and review. I appreciate your words of encouragement.

See chapter 1 for disclaimer. I own nothing.

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Chapter 3-

She heard his car coming long before she saw it through the front window. The throaty growl of the Challenger a dead giveaway on their otherwise quiet street. He was driving fast; faster than he should, but given the man behind the wheel that was of no surprise. Even after all these years he still had oil for blood and a gas tank for a brain. The love of adrenaline, speed and the purr of a finely tuned engine never leaving him, even as they had grown and aged. Mia smiled to herself as she finished picking up the toys scattered around the living room. How things have changed since they last called this place home. Instead of beer bottles and car magazines left to clean up, it was toy cars, cheerios and sippy cups that littered the floor.

She heard the car pull up alongside the house and a few minutes later, the slam of the car door, a little hasty and louder than it should have been. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that something wasn't right. He never usually closed the car door that hard, nor did his boots sound so heavy on the sunbaked concrete leading to the front door. Something was on his mind and all at once she was thankful that Jack was upstairs having his mid-afternoon nap.

She glanced through the front window and saw him pause at Jesse's cross. Her heart began to pick up a beat, knowing that this was out of character for him.

While Dom was away she had that cross made and placed it lovingly in the plush grass on the boulevard, just to the left of the driveway of the only place that Jesse had ever really called home. When they first came back to 1327, she had fought him tooth and nail to put that cross back on the edge of the boulevard; her wanting to remember and honor a fallen brother, him not wanting to be reminded of his failure to protect his family. Eventually she had won out, and now that cross graced their lawn once again. It was comforting to her to look out the window and know that the reminder of Jesse and his life was there. How she missed that scraggly kid that just showed up one day and never left.

They had loved and they had lost along their path away from and back to this home.

First was Jesse, the little brother she never 'officially' had. Always a ball of energy and wit. He was so smart; it blew her mind how he could work out numbers and figures in his head with seemingly no effort. He was talented and bright, and in his wake he had left a hole in her heart. How she missed his smiles and his goofiness on days when the house was quiet.

Vince had gone next; after almost losing him on the side of that highway what seemed like a lifetime ago, only to have him die in their arms on the strange streets of Rio seemed almost too much to bear. He was her other older brother, always causing trouble but fiercely loyal to the family that had taken him in. It only seemed right to send for Rosa and Nico when they had finally come home to LA; an offering to give back the family that had been snatched away from them.

Gisele was an enigma, beautiful and tender, yet tough as nails. She had wormed her way into their hearts just before they left Mexico; aiding them in their quest for revenge yet never asking for anything in return. She gave herself as a sacrifice so that they could bring Letty home, and even in their joy of having a sister and lover back, it broke them. Gisele was always the giving soul.

Han was destroyed when they lost Gisele; content enough to bid the family adieu back in Europe and make his way to Tokyo as Him and Gisele had planned. It wasn't long afterwards that Dom had called her to tell her that Han was gone too. At least Gisele and Han were reunited; if there was any comfort to be taken from saying a painful goodbye to another member of their family.

Lost in her thoughts watching Dom kneeling at Jesse's cross, Mia wrung her hands in the air. Anything to lose the feeling of dread that had settled in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong, and soon her beloved brother would be the one to tell her.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: As always, read and review.

See chapter 1 for disclaimer. I own nothing.

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Chapter 4-

Dom looked up at the house from his crouch, seeing Mia watching him from the window. By now she must know something was wrong, he had lingered here a heartbeat too long.

His body protested as he rose up and continued up the walk, muscles stiff from tension, bones weary from emotion and mind scattered and unsure. As he reached the door he sucked in a breath and turned the knob. There would be no going back after this.

He crossed the threshold of the door and saw his sister for the first time. She looked pale and uncomfortable, the warm smile she usually wore fading slowly from her face as she studied his slumped shoulders and downturned face. He knew then that she knew something was wrong.

Unable to bring himself to look her in the eye just yet he reached out for her, hands grasping at the space between them.

She seemed to get the idea as she slowly moved into his arms. All at once he had her pulled tight against his chest, mumbling into her hair how much he loved her. She pulled away as best she could and studied his face. He looked broken, lost. She had only ever seen him look like this on 2 other occasions, none of which were something worth repeating. Reliving the loss of their father and the pain of when they thought they'd lost Letty was something they'd sworn was finally in the past.

He could see the terror creeping into her features, clouding her dark eyes and contorting her beautiful face. He was cracking; was he strong enough to tell her the news?

"Mia. I need you to sit down. Please." His voice sounded strange to him, the gravel in his throat evident from the straining whine he had just choked out.

She froze up instantly, searching in the depths of his features for even a hint that he wasn't here to wreck her otherwise perfect Saturday afternoon. All she saw was pain and torment, and all at once she knew something terrible had happened.

"Dom? DOM? What happened? Letty?!" Her voice sounding panicky, trying so hard to stay calm in the face of the storm brewing in his eyes.

"No, Mia Bella, not Letty. Please Bella, please sit down." He was begging. He was a proud man, sometimes too proud for his own good, but here in this house, in front of the only blood family he had left he wasn't below begging her. She needed to sit, lest she collapse into a puddle on the floor and wake Jack.

"Dom" she whispered, stubbornly challenging him with her body language. "Tell me. What happened?"

He sighed loudly, fighting to bring the words out that he was so desperately searching for. "Mia. I'm so sorry Cara Mia. He's gone."

In an instant the revelation dawned on her face. She shook her head, and for a moment Dom thought it might fall off from the force in which she was shaking it. She looked defiant, fire brewing in her eyes at the mere suggestion. She stomped her foot on the floor, suddenly not caring who would hear her or if she'd wake the sleeping toddler occupying a bedroom on the second floor.

"No... No. NO! Dom, No! Not Brian. Not my Brian!" The fire he saw in her eyes now a raging inferno; she was shaking. He pulled her in close to him, knowing that in a moment she would fracture. She let out a strangled scream and pounded her fists into Dom's chest. A gesture so full of angst and primal emotion that Dom wished he hadn't heard. It sounded like a wounded animal, cut so deep it wounded her soul.

He held on to her tightly as her legs gave out, slowly sinking them to the hardwood beneath their feet. Here, growing up in this house, he'd held her a thousand times as she cried and healed the hurt of countless trials. His beautiful baby sister.

Broken bones, broken hearts and broken dreams, all slowly healed with time and the strength of the man before her. This time was different though, and all at once he questioned just how much this gaping wound in their chests would heal.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- Here we go. Thanks to all for your comments thus far, you truly keep me going :)

As always, read and review.

See chapter 1 for disclaimer. I own nothing.

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Chapter 5-

Mia sank to the floor, Dom clutching at her as if holding her was the only thing keeping her from combusting and disappearing. Her mind was racing, heart pounding so hard it felt like it would break her ribs.

The pain hit her like a gunshot. White hot and jagged, tearing into her until it was seated deep in her chest. Straight to her soul at point blank range. Heart in shreds, she grasped onto whatever was within range.

'Not her Brian! No! She needed him, Jack needed him!'

She cried out; a strained, straight from the gut wail, tears streaming down her cheeks. She fought against the arms that held her tightly, like a wild animal caged against its will; fists pounding into solid flesh until her arms felt too heavy and weak to lift. It was then that she gave up fighting, accepting her brothers embrace. As he held her and stroked her hair, she was clawing at his arms; as if mooring herself to his strength through the emotional minefield in her mind.

She pictured him in her mind just then; behind the wheel of his beloved R35, driving too fast with that silly grin on his face that always popped up when he was running on thrill and adrenaline. The images in her mind flickered; a timeline of their life they had built together, now tumbling down shattered, like fragile walls made of glass.

When they first met at the store; all those talks over a disgusting Tuna sandwich- on white, No crust.

That night in the kitchen she asked him out just to spite Vince, the smouldering desire evident in Brian's crystal blue eyes.

Race-wars and the subsequent events, his betrayal of her family- The day Brian Earl Spilner, street racer and mechanic became Brian Earl O'Connor, cop. She'd heard through the grapevine that he was wanted for what he'd done. He'd run all the way to Miami to atone for letting her brother flee in that stupid Supra.

The anger and distrust she felt for him in that diner after all those years- the suit, badge and gun to go with this new life he'd created. Debt now paid to the LAPD and FBI back in Miami.

Dinner in her kitchen when Dom had come back to settle a score. The relief of having her brother home, if only for a night, knowing that whatever happened he'd be safe with the man she had learned to trust again. The look of genuine fear Brian had when Dom attacked after learning of what he'd done for Letty. To Letty.

The breakout of Dom after the disastrous court date and their subsequent flight down to Rio. He looked finally at ease, like he was done lying and finally on the path he should have always been.

The look in his eyes when he found out he'd be a father. How happy they were walking hand in hand down that beach; her stomach swollen with the promise of new life.

She remembered the fear and uncertainty on his face when Jack was born, both knowing nothing would be the same, yet walking through that threshold together. They had finally found happiness and their rhythm, though life wasn't done with their family yet.

She recalled the pride and joy his face showed when Jack would wake up in the mornings, smiling and gurgling, waiting for his daddy to give him his pre-breakfast cuddles. The lazy days when they'd have picnics on the lawn in the afternoon sun; Brian trying stubbornly to convince the clueless infant that Import was better then Domestic, no matter what Uncle Dom said. How easily he had found his rhythm with his son, juggling nap times, diapers, and never forgetting to read him a story before tucking him in at night. He wasn't even ashamed to carry the diaper bag, even if it did look suspiciously like a purse.

She remembered the look of surprise on his face when Dom showed up with that manila folder containing the fateful picture. Not truly trusting Hobbs to not play games with them. She had suggested they go after Letty. Letty was family, and Dom and Brian always worked better together.

She recalled how his face contorted with relief when he'd found her safe on that plane, more relief showing when he learned their child was safe with Elena.

Now they were back in LA, Letty was back; albeit changed forever from her memory loss. They were happy, they were where they should have been years ago. They were home.

All these flashes came like smoke; empty echoes of a life once lived and now passed. They had been through so much, yet come out stronger and more in love because of it.

She imagined him in her mind, thinking as to how he would like to be remembered. The image conjured in her mind was one that brought her a small sliver of comfort. He was on the beach, bare tanned skin glistening with stray droplets of the salty ocean spray; surfboard tucked neatly under his arm, smiling almost maniacally, running back into the pounding, relentless surf for the next good one to bring him back to the shore. He was always the poster child for the SoCal surfer boy if she had ever seen one before. His blonde hair catching the sunlight just right and his blue eyes almost the same hue of the ocean behind him. It was those eyes that drew her in in the first place.

Those same strikingly blue eyes and blonde unruly hair echoed in their child, tucked safely in his crib up the stairs and down the hall.

Oh god Jack. He was almost 18 months old now. He was too young; he'd never know the man he'd call Daddy. Too young to remember. The future memories robbed, stolen away from him in the blink of an eye.

The thought brought fresh tears and pain to the surface. She felt as if she were dying, gasping between the wracking sobs; no amount of air sufficient to fill her lungs. The hole in her chest was gaping, wide open for anyone to see. Her guttural cries and shrieks the only indication that she was still here.

He only held her through it; taking her bruising blows. All he could think of was to whisper in her ear how sorry he was as he wiped away his own tears. None of that mattered to her. Her life as she knew it was over. Her everything taken from her in a split second.

He's gone, and this time he wasn't coming back.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- Not gonna lie, I got caught up watching the Olympics. Forgive me for my lack of updates. Thanks again all who comment, I appreciate it!

As always, read and review.

See chapter 1 for disclaimer. I own nothing.

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Chapter 6-

How long they stayed on that floor clutching one another? No one knew. Time seemed to catch back up to them, moving in fast forward while everyone was on autopilot and still moving slow.

The family all congregated at the house. No one seemingly knowing what to do or say; just milling around in a fog, adrift in the sea of their emotions.

Mia was upstairs sleeping finally. The shock and subsequent breakdown taking every ounce of strength from her body. She slept fitfully in one of his well-worn t-shirts, his lingering scent seeming to calm her from her inner turmoil.

Letty was in the front room playing with Jack; hurting, yet for a moment thankful that she didn't remember Brian like the others did. Memory can sometimes be the greatest gift, other times the worst nightmare.

Tej was stone faced; staring blankly at the wall while nursing a sweating Corona. It would seem as though he was choosing to remember his friend for who he was and not what he had left behind.

Roman wasn't as stoic in his grief, weeping softly for his brother who had been there through thick and thin. Too many words left unsaid between them.

Dom sat in his chair, feeling the familiar feeling of the usually soft full grain leather. Today that leather felt rough, uncomfortable and hot beneath his arms. Lost in thought he failed to see his sister slowly descending the stairs towards them.

When Mia was in front of him he finally snapped out of his trance. He looked up at his sister; tired red eyes meeting hers. She gave him a slight smile and he pondered how, with tear stained cheeks and swollen red eyes she could still look so beautiful.

Mia sat next to his chair on the couch, reaching out her hand to the only tangible link she had left of the life she had this morning. As she settled Jack on her lap, the family gravitated to her. She kissed the top of Jack's head and with a slight falter to her voice she spoke.

"Guys, I want you to know I love you." She paused and sighed; this would be harder then she anticipated. As familiar as these people were to her, everything felt strange now. "I know why you're all here, and I appreciate every one of you more then you could ever imagine. Now before I lose my nerve, and before things get too out of control I want you guys to know that I need something from you."

The group nodded silently, not wanting to interrupt her monologue.

She smiled a slight smile to them, knowing how hard this next part was going to be. "I need you guys to be strong. Please, don't mope. Jack needs normalcy. I've been with Brian off and on again for 13 plus years and not once have I seen him sad, never have I seen him cry. He wouldn't want us to spend our days crying and inconsolable; but rather be happy and love the remaining family we surround ourselves with. And don't think that he'd let you tough guys get away with crying over him. He'd kick your asses." at the last statement she looked over at Dom and Rome with slight amusement filling up her otherwise soulfully sad brown eyes, knowing that they'd understand why she said what she said.

"I'd like to think that he is still here with us, guiding us just like Mom, Dad, Jess, Vince, Han and Gisele. Please, be strong for me. I know in the coming days I'll need you guys and your support more than anything. Remind me of the good memories we've all had with him, and if I happen to fall, just hold me and help me through it." She sighed audibly, wiping the stray tears from her face. She never knew that the hurt would settle so deep in her bones, the ache of this loss seep so far into her very soul.

Jack squirmed in her arms, so she let him go down to the floor. Contentedly waddling to settle with his Auntie Letty in only a way that an oblivious toddler could.

"We've all come together, united by a bond that may as well be blood. Some have remained longer than others, some the ties still fresh. But nonetheless we are family. Today we lost a great man, a loving partner, and a fantastic father." She paused as the tears started anew; washing down her face like a dirty rain after a dust storm, leaving fresh streaks on her cheeks. "Please don't forget him. Honor him in all you do. But please, when the time comes that Jack starts asking questions, be truthful. Tell him of the man that loved and lived fiercely; protected his family with all that he was. But most of all, tell him your stories. Help him know through you the man that he calls Daddy."

It was then that Mia broke again. Tears seemingly coming like waves, threatening to drown those closest to her; body wracked with the sobs of a woman so shattered and lost.

Dom's heart ached with her words, fresh tears springing to his eyes. Deeply mournful that no matter what or how hard he tried he couldn't heal her hurt.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N- Thanks all for sticking with me this far. kudos to you :).

As always, read and review.

See chapter 1 for disclaimer. I own nothing.

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Chapter 7-

Time continued on in fast forward. Almost as if someone had wanted to speed up the days and the button on the remote was now stuck.

Days blended into one another as the family soldiered on, but the nights seemingly took forever. They had many friends and acquaintances stop by the house that week, wanting to lend their condolences and sympathy to the family, yet unsure of their welcome.

Mia, it seemed went through stages. She'd be alert and on cue throughout the days, holding things together so tightly for little Jack so he could continue in his oblivion. She'd smile when needed, scold if she had to but mostly she'd just hold him and sing songs to him. Little lullabies that seemed to soothe herself more than the busy toddler in the house.

At night was when the stress from the day would come crashing down again. It was as if she was walking lost in a field, stepping on emotional landmines that would fill her up to the brim with whatever emotion that mine represented: Anger, Despair, Denial, Sadness, Happiness and back again. In her anger she'd lash out at whoever was close, fists striking out trying to fight through her grief. Despair always brought fresh tears that would flow until there was no more to cry out; sobs continuing long after the tear streaks dried. Denial was when she'd use her sharp tongue; screaming accusations at Dom, claiming he was lying to her. Always striking with the words she knew would cut him. Sadness brought more tears, though these were more controlled, seemingly coming when they were reminiscing around the table or over a few Corona in their front room. Happiness would come fleetingly, never before one of the other mines would explode. In the moments of happiness, she herself would join in the reminiscing, telling funny tales of the times she had shared with him. That was when she would allow herself to smile again, genuinely laugh at the stories being exchanged.

She found an odd comfort in making the arrangements she could. Everything else was on hold until the coroner released Brian's body to the family pending the necessary investigation. She picked the flowers, sadly chuckling to herself at what he'd say about having flowers at his service.

She'd even allowed Letty to drag herself out of the house one afternoon so they could shop for clothes for the service. It seemed so strange that of all people, Letty, the perpetual tomboy was the one to take her shopping. In another lifetime, maybe long down the road, she'd find the humor in the role reversal but these days it was hard to smile at these little things.

It was comforting to know that even if Letty couldn't remember all the times she'd fought Mia taking her out shopping, that Letty was now in kind, returning the favor.

She'd picked out the suit that she wanted Brian to be cremated in. Even if no one would see her handsome partner dressed in that grey three piece that was bought for an entirely different reason, it made Mia happy knowing that would be what he was wearing. The light grey of the fabric making his eyes pop and shine so brightly.

Casket selected, plot purchased, music ready, programs made and obit written it seemed as though everything was prepared. Now she only prayed that she was ready


End file.
